I am officially the smoothest guy ever

ok so 4 times in the last 48 hours i have done abnormally "smooth" things first i did the bell jump after lunch thursday and fell on my butt and to quote erin "evan your heels were above your head" then that night i tripped over my dog while running at full speed landed on asphalt and ripped my jeans at the knee friday after the nerd convention i walked backwards into a pole then after lunch i fell backwards while walking up a flight of stairs cut my arm and finally this morning i got out of my car and ran up to a girl i thought was k-t then realized she wasnt she just looked like her from the back and im like woops and kept running im smooth i know
ok 2 more i was singing to bulls on parade by rage against the machine while doing guitar motions and started climbing the stairs but fell on my face after 1 step then i was walking luis and i was talking 2 the neighbors little kids walking backwards and tripped over a basketball hoop and fell flat on my back